No one enters a marriage expecting a tragic divorce. Therefore, it’s important to recognize important divorce indicators to gauge expectations and possibly prevent your marriage’s irrevocable downturn.
Social scientists have highlighted certain predictors of divorce-prone couples, such as showing contempt and dealing with immense amounts of daily stress. Examining these signals is a good place to start if you’re trying to stay ahead in your marriage.
If you live in the Midwest and are considering filing for divorce in Ohio, you should learn about the signs of a relationship breakdown before hiring a specialist lawyer to help you through the difficult divorce process.
Here are the most common factors that contribute to marriage breakdowns
1. Negative Behaviors: Contempt, Stonewalling, And Playing Victim
Contempt can be a lethal sucker punch to your relationship. John Gottman, the founder of Gottman institute, identifies certain marriage attitudes as “apocalyptic,” because they’re frighteningly accurate at predicting divorce.
Leading these behaviors is contempt—thinking your partner is somehow inferior to you and disregarding their opinions. Criticism is another one that leads to the destruction of a happy married life. Instead of accepting the imperfections of your partner and helping them overcome these faults, some people resort to demeaning remarks, which foster disdain and emotional distance.
Playing the victim is also extremely detrimental to a marriage. Some partners will try to shift the blame in an argument when they’re clearly in the wrong, and this victim mentality can cause frustration, turning a healthy conversation into a full-blown fight. Denial, defensiveness, and stonewalling are other negative behaviors that’ll only harm a relationship and may lead to divorce.
2. Mounting Daily Stress
Stress can put substantial strain on a marriage. When stress mounts in sensitive areas like finances, some couples call it quits because they’re unable to handle the ongoing pressure.
European couples provide an excellent case study for this hypothesis. A 2007 study showed that one of the prime culprits behind divorce in some European marriages is the accumulation of daily stress. Even little things, such as being unable to arrange a romantic date or missing a mutually agreed upon appointment, can have a significant negative impact on the overall context of your marriage.
Moreover, mounting daily stress is, in many cases, just as conducive to divorce as cheating, partner abuse, and personal loss, such as the death of a closed family member.
3. Withdrawing During High-tension Situations
Clear and civilized communication is critical in a healthy marriage. If you’re not talking your problems out with your partner, you’re probably heading for trouble.
Ask yourself: when your partner broaches an important subject regarding your relationship, do you gaslight or stonewall their advances? Are you resistant to listen? If so, you may be harming your marriage and pushing your partner away.
Withdrawal attitudes, in particular, are strong markers of premature divorces. Partners who retreat from serious discussions and pull away emotionally may experience a significant drop in the quality of their marriages. They may find it exceptionally hard to rectify these negative behavioral patterns because of incessant blame shifting and a refusal to focus on their own shortcomings.
4. Describing Your Relationship Negatively
Dr. Gottman and several other researchers conducted a study in 1992, which involved couples discussing the different facets of their relationship, from their first encounter to the ways their marriage had changed over time.
The findings revealed that couples who were more inclined to pinpoint difficulties in their relationship or identify their marriage as “chaotic” had a higher probability of divorce. Contrarily, partners who emphasized the positive aspects of their marriage were less prone to divorce.
Focusing on the bright spots when your marriage is facing challenges can pave the way for a long and healthy married life. When you’re thankful for your partner’s companionship and you work together to weather difficult circumstances, your ordeals will be a lot easier to manage and overcome.
5. Financial Status
The financial conditions of your relationship can also have a significant impact on your marriage. Many believe money to be one of the leading factors contributing to divorce in both sexes.
However, this doesn’t necessarily mean couples who earn low wages are more susceptible to divorce. On the contrary, couples with higher cumulative incomes tend to face greater odds in their marriages. Often, higher income earners have stressful jobs and travel commitments, which may mean they’re less attentive and focused on their relationships. This emotional and physical distance can create marital tension and sap intimacy. Communication may also be adversely affected in these arrangements and lead to increased conflict.
Marriages that end in divorce aren’t necessarily complete failures. Sometimes couples drift apart, and relationships come to natural conclusions. However, if you want to repair your marriage and rectify causes of conflict, consider negative behaviors such as contempt, victimization, and withdrawal, and look at factors such as finances that may be putting strain on the relationship.
If you’re unable to mend these problems, a competent divorce attorney will handle your separation with care.