Signs it Might Be Time to Consider Divorce
When you start a family, it is your hope and expatiations to live happily ever after. You wish to grow old together and share a twilight. However, that is not always the case. You may be feeling the pressure of deciding whether you want to be in the marriage or not. How do you know that your union is heading for the rocks? I will try to give you some of the pointers.
Before we dive in, it is good to know that divorce is not entirely a bad thing. It could be suitable for all parties. It also does not have to be acrimonious. You can opt for collaborative divorce proceedings. You can find useful info about this process online. It will be wise if you learn what other couples are going through. Make sure you have all the answers before initiating this process.
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If you are reading this post, your marriage must be cracking in one way or another. However, that should not worry you because you probably have not escalated into a divorce. You might be in a position to rectify the situation. If you are here after trying to mend your marriage, this is a good sign that you will be considering divorce in one way or another.
Arguments, disagreements, and constant quarrels do not necessarily show a marriage in distress. They are normal. However, most of these issues are resolved by talking. If you are not talking about things, it means you have very little chance of clearing up problems that may arise. For example, if you suspect the spouse of cheating, you should be able to confront the person. If the person is upfront, you will most likely clear the matter. If not, you will confirm that the person is cheating, which will escalate the loss of trust. Lack of communication is one of the most explicit ways that marriage will not be working.
Abuse and Violence
It doesn’t have to be physical. If the spouse contently hurts you psychologically or physically, you should be considering divorce seriously. Subtle abuse is often ignored, but the probability of such violence becoming full-blown physical confrontations is high. You should also report any case of assault to the authorities. Violent and abusive people need help.
Someone Else is on Your Mind.
A good relationship should be focused on making things within the current setup work. If you are thinking of options and continually finding someone else as an option, your marriage lacks the emotional or physical connection. It is normal to take your mind into a tour, but if it starts being a constant thing, the union will be a strain.
Something You Consider Unforgivable
To some people, cheating is unforgivable, and it is a sure deal of divorce. To others, this could be an issue, but not a deal-breaker upon the show of remorse. If forgiveness is not an option, you will have trouble enjoying married life. Divorce is usually on the cards if your spouse does not support your life goals, such as raising a family or pursuing a career. Marriage is all about mutual support and engagement. If it has failed in giving you this option, you may end up to regret in life, and divorce talk could spur you to your goals in life.
Lack of Intimacy and Passion
Most marriages start with friendship, then intimacy, and physical connection. If it starts moving backward, there is a concern. If you are losing the other person’s passion, this is a sign that something is not right. If you start viewing your spouse as a friend or a parent to your children, you are checking yourself out of the relationship. You may try counseling at this time.
If you opted for forgiveness but did not fully heal through it, you might start harboring feelings of guilt, pain, and anguish. If every time you see your spouse, it reminds you of betrayal, you will have lots of trouble finding happiness in that marriage. As usual, marriage ought to offer you something that you cannot find out there. If it gives you pain, options should be on the cards.
The Spouse Ceases to Be the Cushion and Source of Comfort
Naturally, your spouse should be the go-to person every time you have an annoying issue. When you have a work problem, you go to your spouse for comfort and counsel. If things start to feel awkward when sharing what you are going through with your spouse, that could be a starting point of social and emotional disconnect.
There are still a lot of factors that can affect the outcome of your marriage life. The items listed above are the common signs that your marriage needs work. Many solutions can be applied to save your marriage but if everything is said and done, and if you have already tried counseling and arbitration without success, divorce could be on the cards.