If you’re getting a divorce, you aren’t going through these difficult and turbulent times alone. In fact, 39% of American couples who tie the knot get divorced somewhere along the line, and in many situations, it’s a good choice.
Especially when kids are in the picture, divorces are beneficial because keeping a child in an unhappy home can really harm their development. Still, as a father, it’s your instinct to not only want to do what’s best for your kid, but also to spend as much time raising them as possible.
What if she get full custody? This is the fear of many men going through a divorce since the sad reality is that this happens often. Luckily, you can learn how to divorce your wife properly and fight against this happening. Read on to learn how.
During the Divorce
During the process of a divorce, life will likely feel like a whirlwind of lawyers, payouts, and anxiety. However, there are ways to ensure that acting on this stress pays off. Read on to learn some steps you can take to ensure you stay active in your child’s life.
Talk With Your Lawyer
Before doing anything else, talk with your divorce attorney to get a feel for how the legalities are going. Your lawyer has more knowledge about custody laws than you do and can work with you to determine the route that your ex is likely to take in your specific situation.
Your lawyer can help you prepare your case for getting the amount of custody that you believe to be reasonable. Both inside and outside of the courtroom, your attorney will fight for your rights and those of your child.
Know Your Rights
Speaking of rights, you need to know yours. While your lawyer can help you walk through the specifics, having a basic understanding of the father’s rights in a custody battle will be of great benefit to you. When you’re equipped with this understanding, no one will be able to pull a fast one on you.
In most cases, the child’s time will be split 50/50 between the homes of the two parents or they’ll live primarily with one. In these cases, though, the child will be given liberal and frequent unsupervised visits with the parent they aren’t living with.
You have the right to see your child and fight for the former option. Remember it and ask your attorney about it specifically to learn more.
Don’t Upset Your Child
No matter what you do, parents divorcing is going to be hard on the child. This is unavoidable, but giving your child additional stress throughout the process is completely unnecessary.
No matter how tempted you may be, discussing the specifics of the divorce with your child is a poor decision. They may fear that either you or your ex-wife will no longer be able to spend time with them or that they’ll be forced to choose. Make sure that your child knows that they’re a priority for you and that any aftermath of the divorce is not their responsibility.
After the Split
Once the divorce is finalized and the fight for your rights come to an end, there are still things you’ll need to do to stay active in your child’s life. Read on to learn how to continue to do right by your beloved little one and make the process as easy as possible on both you and them.
Work Within Legal Parameters
After the custody agreement is finalized, you’re going to need to remember the specific legal parameters outlined within it. This means having a thorough understanding of your standing for custody and your rights for visitation. They’re different in every divorce, so your agreement will be different from that of your divorced friend- just an FYI.
Working within these legal parameters can be incredibly frustrating, but it’s crucial to be vigilant. If you violate them, you could lose whatever custody you have. If you only have visitation, you could also lose even more time with your child.
Spend Quality Time With Your Child
While having nothing to do with legal matters, you need to spend quality time with your child if you want to be active in their life! If you don’t, then what were you even working for?
Take your child to places they like and have meals with them. Quality and frequent one-on-one time is crucial to maintaining your place in your child’s life, especially when they’re younger and have shorter memories and attention spans.
Don’t Badmouth Mom
While there are infinite things you can do during this quality time with your child, there is one thing you should absolutely never do: badmouth your ex in front of your child. While it’s frustrating if their mom says negative things about you, there are productive ways to deal with this that don’t involve retaliation.
Tit-for-tat badmouthing will stress your child out quite a bit because they may feel the need to take sides. It can also upset your ex, making things less amicable than they could be (and thus more difficult on everyone.)
Keep a Lawyer on Hand
While you don’t need to have your lawyer on speed-dial for the rest of your life or anything, it’s good to keep their number handy.
If anything happens and you feel as though your ex is violating the custody agreement, you’ll need to call the attorney in. If you’re worried that your ex is mistreating your child, you definitely need that number. Just make sure that you have someone to call who understands the law and can help no matter what comes in the future.
More on How to Divorce Your Wife Properly
While divorcing your wife can be a scary prospect because you don’t want to lose your children, there are ways you can fight against their being taken from you. You have a right to spend time with your kids- don’t let anyone take it from you.
Now that you know how to divorce your wife in a way that does right by your children, it’s time to look into the legalities of doing so a little further. Please check out the rest of our site. We’ll give you sound legal advice on any specific issue that you may be having.
Good luck, Dad. Remember: we’re rooting for you.