Are you planning to file a divorce case in Oregon? If so, do you know the basics of Oregon divorce laws?
If you know nothing about the divorce process in Oregon, read through the following guide to acquire some primary knowledge on Oregon state divorce laws. It’s important to understand a few things about what to expect even if you’re hiring a divorce attorney to represent you.
1. Residency Requirements
You must meet some residency requirements for an Oregon court to accept your case. You can only file a divorce case if you married in the state or either one or both of you are a resident of the state. At least one party in the case must be domiciled in the state when the suit commences, or for not less than six months before filing for dissolution.
2. Grounds for Separation
The main grounds for separation recognized by Oregon divorce laws are irreconcilable differences resulting in a broken marriage. Another reason could be that the consent of either party was obtained by fraud or force. It could also be for any other reason that the filing spouse desires to prove to a court, and it finds to be valid.
3. Sharing of Assets
Oregon divorce laws advocate for equitable property division. This means that instead of distributing assets equally, you share them in the fairest way possible. The fault of one party does not count in the division.
Property or inheritances acquired before the marriage remains to be the separate possession of a spouse. But retirement plans and any contributions made during the marriage towards the acquisition of family assets is fairly distributed. There is an assumption that both spouses contributed equally when acquiring assets during the marriage, but this can always be argued out in court by a divorce attorney.
4. Support to a Spouse
The decision to support one spouse financially, either on a temporary or permanent basis, depends on an agreement by the parties or a ruling by the court. The support may either be transitional, compensatory or for maintenance purposes.
Transitional support allows a partner to get the education or training necessary to get back into the job market. Compensatory allowance is given when one party has contributed significantly towards the education, training, or career of the other party, and it’s only fair that they pay some support.
Maintenance support is a contribution to sustain the standard of living of the other party, which was attained during marriage. The court considers many factors when awarding alimony.
5. Changing Names
The court allows you to change your name to the one held before marriage upon request.
Oregon divorce laws allow for either parent to receive child custody without regard to gender. The court works in the best interest of the child to determine which parent to give charge. It may consider the child’s relationship with each parent; abuse by either parent; the preference of a child to opt for a primary caregiver, and many more factors.
7. Child Support
The terms of child support in Oregon are designed to cater for the child’s welfare and not the parent. It’s determined by the guidelines set under ORS 25.275. The monthly support amount is determined by applying the guidelines to divide each parent’s income proportionately.
Then the two amounts are compared and offset to determine which parent will pay the other child support. Child support also includes provisions for the kid’s medical aid, insurance coverage, and any other crucial form of security necessary.
Know About the Oregon Divorce Laws!
Before you start filing for marriage separation, it’s important to understand the basics of Oregon divorce laws. They will help you know what to expect with the process.
Read on to find more informative topics on divorce law!
Around 40 to 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce. No matter how beautiful your wedding was or what great intentions the both of you had, these numbers ring true.
If you are dealing with a divorce situation, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. The best thing you can do is secure one of the best local divorce lawyers to help you through the case.
You don’t have to be going through a nasty divorce to need a lawyer either. Even if you are trying to dissolve your union amicably, you should consider bringing on an attorney to make sure everything is done properly.
Continue reading this article to learn how to find the best divorce lawyer in your area.
Vetting Local Divorce Lawyers
Whether you are trying to learn more about paying child support after the divorce, how you should set up visitation or other matters, an attorney can advise you on the best practices.
1. Friends & Family Referral
It is likely that you know multiple people that have gone through divorces at some point in their lives. Ask friends and family for referrals to see how their experience was with their lawyer.
If it has been some time since their divorce, you may need to check and see if the attorney is still in town or if they are in practice at all.
2. Attorney Specialty
Before you choose an attorney, you need to look at your specific case. Some attorneys specialize in dealing with cases that involve children. Other attorneys are best working on cases that have large amounts of money at stake.
Just because an attorney is a good person doesn’t mean they are a good match for your case. You want to make sure they understand the laws around your situation so you can have the best opportunity to get the outcome that you want.
Working with an attorney that is inexperienced with your type of case puts your case in jeopardy.
3. Online Reviews
If you don’t know anyone that has a connection to a local lawyer, you can turn to online review websites. While they might not give you as much assurance as your friends and family, they are helpful when you make your decision.
After you read reviews and find a possible candidate for your case, you can even ask them if you could speak to one of their clients on the phone or in person to hear about their experience with their firm. Many clients are grateful and willing to speak with a potential new client to help the attorney as a thank-you.
4. Length of Experience
While the length of experience isn’t the end all be all, it does play into the scheme of things. If you’re working with a lawyer that doesn’t have any experience, you’re not likely to feel confident in their abilities.
New attorneys should be paired with someone that has experience so you know they have counsel from someone that has dealt with your case before. You may even ask for a discount on your case if the new attorney is put as the lead on your case.
Education also plays into your decision-making process as you’re choosing an attorney for your divorce case. Not all educational institutions are created equally and you might want to look at the requirement of their graduation before you put your case in their hands.
Even if you want to find the best attorney to work your case, you simply can’t ignore cost. Some of the top divorce attorneys may be outside of your budget because they only deal with cases that have large amounts of money at stake.
Don’t be afraid to ask about their rates up front so you don’t waste your time with an attorney that is out of your reach.
Depending on what state and city you’re in as well as what type of case you have, the fees of an attorney are going to be different. You shouldn’t wait until the end of your conversation to give them the details and get an idea of how much the bill is going to be.
7. Ease of Working Together
If the divorce is long and drawn out, you’re going to be married to this attorney throughout the duration of your case. You need to make sure that you’re going to be able to work together easily.
If you hire an attorney you can’t stand, you’re going to put yourself through months of discomfort and annoyances.
Find out how frequently the attorney will be able to communicate with you. You should also find out if the attorney will be doing the work themselves or if they task everything to a paralegal.
If you expect to be updated on a daily or weekly basis, you should let them know and see if that is something they are willing to do. When you both have different expectations, no one is going to be happy so make sure to get this out up front.
Also, find out what means of communication you should expect. Do they email updates or call you on the phone? Do they work late or do they leave the office at 5?
These things are important to ask so don’t be afraid to find out before you sign on the dotted line.
Need More Legal Help?
While none of us want to deal with negative legal matters, sometimes it happens and you need help. We’ve put together our blog in a way that is designed for you to be able to easily navigate to topics where you need help.
Bookmark and browse our blog as often as you need and get the help that you need for your specific situation.
Divorce has taken on a new life in the past few decades of American life. For a long period, divorce was considered a taboo, or an option only considered in the direst of situations.
Today, divorces couldn’t be more of a common event. You’ve probably heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. You probably even know many people in your life that have been married and gone through divorces. But you might not have a clear view of the bigger picture of divorce in America.
Why do so many marriages end, and what factors actually impact the nation’s divorce rate? We’ll break down everything you need to know below.
Divorce Rates In The United States
Just how common is divorce these days, anyway? The easiest way to determine this is to look at the numbers. On average, there are roughly two million marriages in the country on a yearly basis. That means about four million individuals say their vows and plan to live happily ever after each calendar year.
In the same year? Just under one million couples were facing the end of their blissful matrimony. That means that common 50% saying isn’t accurate to the decimal point but is a pretty good guiding principle. The divorce rate is usually equal to about half the marriage rate each year.
This has been true for many years at this point. Many people make the mistake of thinking divorce is on the rise, but it’s prevalence as compared to marriage has stayed consistent for decades now.
The divorce rate is actually significantly lower in the modern era than it was in the 90s, for example. But the marriage rate has also declined by the same margins. It makes logical sense: the fewer marriages there are, the fewer divorces come about.
You’d have to go further back into history to find a time where the divorce rate and the marriage rate weren’t as intrinsically linked.
Factors That Impact The Divorce Rate
Almost all marriages have to suffer through some rockier periods of time. A marriage, as the saying goes, is hard work.
The strength of the emotional bond between two people is obviously one of the main factors in whether a marriage stays together. But research has shown us that there are other external factors that seem to have an impact on whether couples stay together or call it quits.
For example, education, age, and income levels all can have a significant effect on the marriage outcome of a couple.
Couples who get married too young May have a higher chance of things not working out. Couples who married before the age of 25 have a significantly higher divorce rate than those who married later in life.
That means large financial events like a recession can have an impact on the divorce rate of the country. As unemployment, debt, and financial hardship looms, more couples are pushed past what their marriage can hold. Couples work with divorce attorneys such as Plog & Stein to get their independence back.
Going Through The Divorce Process
Understanding the divorce rate in the country can help to put things about the divorce process into perspective.
Interested in more information about family law? Check out our blog for more.
When one meets an uncanny situation as divorce, it is truly a difficult decision to make where to turn out! Only a few of them actually have any prior experience of the legal ins and outs of the procedure. As a result, it is commonly seen that most people end up wasting a lot of money and time on shifting from one lawyer to another, yet failing to get things fixed right! Therefore, if you do not want it to be a long drawn out emotional and financial nightmare, here are a few tips from the best Divorce Lawyer Orlando that you may go through!
First, be realistic:
It is important to understand that divorce is a legal procedure that include dissolving your assets and resolving your custody issues. Hence, you shouldn’t be an emotional fellow to end up having lost everything. Remember the fact that your divorce lawyer is not your therapist, so that person won’t be helping you in your emotional crisis in any way. A lot of people tend to blabber out their frustrations infront of them, but that’s not the way for these professionals would be charging you with a high hourly rate. Use them based on your requirement and functionality in a judicious manner.
Stay focused on your goal and make sure that you fix the whole procedure with as little financial damage as you can bear! The ultimate goal is to get the divorce and therefore, you shouldn’t pull things enough to extend your emotional crisis and negotiate on material things.
Decide what you actually want:
When you seek to a divorce attorney, the most of them would usually try to steer you in the direction of their own expertise. Therefore, it is you, who should be deciding how things are to be done. Instead of spreading the chaos and bringing on the drama, you can go for a collaborative divorce and once your spouse is up for that, you may proceed. Families, too, often prefer to indulge themselves in the deal, try resolving the situation at the minimum cost and limit.
Seek to at least three potential attorneys:
Do not just hover over making a decision with the first lawyer you meet. Talk to them in person and conduct meetings before you select any of them. This will help you achieve a better negotiation and once you feel satisfied with your attorney, you may proceed! Hire a lawyer who has got specialises in family law or someone who is well experience in the divorce you are looking forward to! A qualified attorney will certainly have all the legal experience and knowledge to understand the circumstance and thus, communicate with you as well as avail all the potential to deal the process creatively. Also, he or she would have the expertise in handling your specific court system.
Research well and conduct interviews:
Talk to your attorney and hold meetings so that you do not have any doubt before you handover the case to your lawyer. This is important since he or she would be the one representing you in the court of law.
Getting divorced is a horrendous process. There are so many things you need to get organized as you unwind your life from your partners. Usually the first of these steps is hiring a Chicago divorce lawyer. How do you know who to hire? What should you be considering? How important is it to hire a “good lawyer” versus just anyone with a law degree.
There is not a series of statistics that make a divorce lawyer in Chicago Illinois “good” or the “best.” We don’t tally our wins and losses like a baseball player. Lawyers rarely win or lose anyways as we usually negotiate to an acceptable settlement between the two parties. A quick settlement is a Chicago divorce lawyer’s greatest achievement yet a quick settlement will rarely show the Chicago divorce lawyer’s true talents and good judgment.
This article will walk you through the many considerations you need to make as you go through the process of hiring a Chicago divorce lawyer.
Because of the unquantifiable quality of a divorce lawyer’s talents, many people rely on personal recommendations to hire a lawyer. This is a fine way to hire a lawyer but there are several considerations to make when considering a referral.
Why are they referring this Chicago divorce lawyer? Is it because they’ve seen his or her work or is it because they are just in the Rotary club together? Knowing the lawyer is a person of good character is important but it doesn’t speak to the lawyers knowledge of the law, reputation with the judges and colleagues, ability to argue both orally and in written form.
The trouble with a referral to a divorce lawyer is that a divorce lawyer is more likely to be referred if the experience with that divorce lawyer was positive. If you had a positive experience during your divorce process, that means you had a very easy divorce. Even the slightest disagreement will cause a contentious atmosphere that imbues the divorce and the lawyer him or herself with the negative energy from the divorce.
I have had numerous people tell me anecdotes about how they did not like their Chicago divorce lawyer because of “he forced a deal” or “he didn’t win anything.” Then I hear that the lawyer got amazing (to me) results at a reasonable price. After I tell the former client what a great job their Chicago divorce lawyer did, they will tell me, “I don’t know. I just didn’t like him.” It’s very difficult to like someone you associate with one of the biggest traumas of your life, must less recommend him or her.
A referral from another attorney is usually the best option. The attorney will know if the divorce lawyer has a good reputation in Chicago or not and how strong the Chicago divorce lawyer’s knowledge base and litigation skills are. Still, at many firms, they simply send out a mass email that says, “does anyone know a divorce lawyer” and then whoever answers first sends out the referral.
This begs the question, why don’t big firms have divorce lawyers in Chicago on staff? They usually have every other kind of lawyer. The reason is that divorce is so unpleasant that firms do not want divorce tainting the other aspects of their practice. A client could be sending millions of dollars of legal work to a firm and then be offended that he was not awarded an extra afternoon with his kids and therefore pull the other legal work from the firm.
People often call bar associations for referrals of divorce attorneys. I’m not sure how these bar associations pick who to refer. I believe it is based on a pure lottery system of who wants to be on the referral list. Many bar associations do require a minimum number of years practicing to be eligible to be on the referral list, though.
Illinois Divorce law is deeply personal. A personal recommendation or referral is very powerful. It just can go in either direction, good or bad.
2. Online Reviews
Online reviews have changed the world. We used to never buy a mattress without personally laying on it but now if we see a thousand people gave it 5 stars, then maybe it’s worth it to order the mattress without laying on it. Meanwhile, mattress stores are closing all over America.
Online reviews for Chicago divorce lawyers have a similar effect. I have dozens of reviews on Yelp, the most in Chicago. I also have several reviews on Google. There are a smattering of reviews of my services on other sites as well.
Online reviews have several positives and negatives.
Anyone who is willing to review their divorce lawyer in public and in writing for the whole world to see on the internet has an extremely strong opinion. So, their experience will pour onto the page and be truly candid.
Yelp is the internet’s number one review site because their reviews are reliable. Over fifty people have reviewed my services on Yelp but only twenty or so are published. Yelp checks to be sure the reviewer is real and the review is real. I am glad for their services. I have one bad review on Yelp and I proudly own it. The person thought I charged too much ($ 5,000) for a year long case. I hope people see that and realize how incredibly affordable and efficient my team and I are…even in bad cases.
Unfortunately, there are many reasons why these reviews are unreliable.
Google reviews are non-verifiable. Literally anyone can review a Chicago divorce lawyer who has a Google My Business page. There is no dispute process. For example, I hired two paralegals who worked for a competitor. They are wonderful people who wanted to work at a more respectable firm, mine. My competitor promptly gave me three bad reviews under various aliases.
Facebook reviews are, in theory, verifiable. After all, they use people’s actual faces for their identities. But, in my case, my thinly populated Facebook page has one negative review from that same competitor (They even spelled “ATTOURNEY” wrong the same way as the fake Google review). This person conveniently has no face. Facebook is changing their review system to “recommend” or “do not recommend” to reflect their current system of either “liking” something or leaving it alone.
Avvo is another law website that provides reviews. I am really split on this because Avvo’s review system is two-tiered. It has reviews from other lawyers which I think are reliable and accurate. The client reviews are probably reliable and accurate but I can’t say for certain because those reviews don’t have verifiable names and faces. Avvo is trying to provide a valuable service with their reviews but they have no explicit system (at least that I can tell) that verifies the client reviews.
This leads me to the final observation about reviews. Sometimes too many reviews is suspicious. Who has 100 or even 50 reviews? No one. Chicago is the third largest metropolitan area in the United States and I have the most reviews on Yelp at 23 published reviews. Clients don’t like publicly reviewing their attorneys and yet some lawyers have hundreds of reviews. Are these reviews all real? I don’t know.
The truth is, no one reviews their divorce attorney because they don’t like to air their dirty laundry to the world. This is understandable and fair. Chicago Divorce lawyers keep their clients’ privacy for good reasons and clients seem to return the favor.
Many of my colleagues send out a form letter every time they receive a negative review. This letter threatens a defamation suit. Then the lawyers file the defamation suit and presume that the bad review caused over $ 50,000 of lost earnings. The lawyers know the law and the clients don’t. That’s why the client hired the lawyer in the first place. So, the bad reviews disappear.
So, my advice regarding Chicago Illinois divorce lawyer reviews is read them carefully. Do they mention the lawyer by name? Is it on a site that is verified (honestly, Yelp is the only one)? Is the person willing to post their face with their review? Does the person’s review sound intelligent or do they misspell words like attorney (see above).
3. Big Firms
This is America where bigger is better. Honestly, when it comes to law firms, bigger is better. Chicago is home to America’s largest divorce firm and, frankly, they do amazing work. Every person in the firm is vetted as an intelligent, competent and honest person. If money is no object, hire the biggest firm you can (with some exceptions).
The only thing critical I will say about the big divorce firms’ quality is that the lawyers they send to court are sometimes not well known to the judges. If you are representing multi-millionaires with their various assets and inexhaustible budgets, maybe you only have 3 or 5 clients per year. Maybe your clients don’t want any of their issues in court so it all gets settled in mediation and out-of-court arbitration. Even still, it doesn’t hurt to walk up to the judge and say “I am so-and-so with [Big Firm].”
The big problem with big firms is the cost. I don’t like to be critical of other professionals and I do believe in the old expression “You get what you pay for.” At the end of a divorce case there will often be a balance of attorneys’ fees owed by the parties. Now until the parties are divorced, the attorneys’ fees are just another marital debt so we compare our fees. The big firms’ fees are astronomical compared to mine. I’m sure they spent the time honestly preparing for the case but I’m not sure the value the big firm added was worth the expense.
When does overbilling happen in a big firm or any other kind of firm? My experience is that it’s almost always unnecessary to have two attorneys at a court appearance but it happens all the time on television so clients think it’s normal. If you have a second attorney at a hearing…what is the first attorney even doing there?
Most people relate to litigation best by recalling the OJ Simpson trial. Marcia Clarke and Christopher Darden. Unfortunately, Ms. Clarke and Mr. Darden were both disasters in the courtroom who played off their own bad instincts while the other supported them. Mr. Darden let OJ put on the isotoners. Ms. Clarke stacked the jury with women assuming they would think OJ was an abuser. My point is, two sets of bad decisions don’t even themselves out. They just make it worse.
Meanwhile who do you remember from the famous OJ Defense trial team. Everyone was famous in the law community. They were literally called “The Dream Team.” Today no one remembers anyone but Johnny Cochrane.
Sometimes a team is not greater than the sum of its parts. My experience with lawyers is that one good lawyer is worth more than two average lawyers. One focused average lawyer is worth more than two good lawyers who have too many cases.
So, please, buy into the person who will be representing you. Don’t buy into the brand. Lawyers are not making a product like Heinz makes ketchup. We are the product.
4. The Chicago Illinois Divorce Lawyer’s Website
Good divorce lawyers in Chicago have bad websites but almost no bad lawyers have good websites.
What makes a website good and what makes a website bad? You already know. You log on and the website either looks modern or it does not. If the website looks old, the owner is not updating it. What else does he or she neglect?
If a website has terrible pictures that were taken on an old Iphone with no filters that is a reflection on the firm as a whole.
Law firms are a business like any other business. They have gross income and gross expenditures. A webpage is a law firm’s face to the world. If a law firm can’t devote 1% of its gross income a year to refining and adding to their face to the world.
Chicago Divorce lawyer’s websites will often have a variety of awards the lawyers have earned. I’m not sure how all of these awards are decided but I have received several mailings in the past offering me an award if I just paid the $ 395 fee. But then again, even if a Chicago divorce lawyer paid for an award it would at least reflect some pride in his or her website.
Divorce lawyers in Chicago Illinois will list their publications on their websites. Lawyers are constantly writing articles about the law to better understand or develop a particular area of law. This is an excellent indicator of whether the chicago divorce lawyer is truly committed to their area of practice. I just wish these lawyers would re-publish the actual article on their website so we could see their work.
Very few divorce lawyers in Chicago Illinois will publish articles or content for the actual audience, potential clients. This is the number one way to inform potential clients about the issue they’re facing and that the lawyer is an expert in that particular issue. Articles show that a lawyer has a systematic way of constantly learning about the law. Almost every article I’ve ever written comes from a problem a current client has presented me with. I review the statutes and the case law and elaborate on how those laws would apply to the various possible facts.
Articles are an especially good indicator of attorney quality because they allow the reader to see a Chicago Illinois divorce lawyer’s skills beyond just legal knowledge. Articles also allow insight into a lawyer’s second most important asset: his or her communication skills. If you can understand a lawyer’s description of a legal issue and the possible legal solutions then a judge who is tired and hungry before lunch will probably also understand and agree with that lawyer’s arguments.
Sadly, most lawyers are not willing to do the work required to put out an article or two a week. Are they not encountering at least one interesting issue each week? I know I am. What’s more, when they do write the article, they often just outline the problem and then write, “to learn more contact an attorney now.” Lawyers are notoriously risk averse and don’t even want to propose possible solutions in writing.
Articles will also give insight into the Chicago divorce lawyer’s personality. Is the article purely about the problem and solutions or does the article provide a glimpse into the lawyer’s sense of compassion? Does the lawyer reference his or her experiences and opinions in the article? Any lawyer who is willing to put his or her personal experiences and opinions in writing is a person of passion and conviction.
5. The Chicago, Il Divorce Lawyer’s Resume
When you hire any other employee, you look at that person’s resume first to determine if they’ll be a good fit for the job.
Many people do the same when hiring lawyers. What school did the lawyer go to? How long have they been practicing? Where have they been practicing?
While lawyers don’t directly post their resumes on their websites you can piece together their resume through the “about me” sections of their websites and/or LinkedIn, Avvo or other websites that showcase professional skills.
The law school a divorce lawyer in Chicago Illinois attended is largely immaterial. Divorce law is not rocket science compared to say constitutional or federal administrative law. Hardly any Chicago divorce lawyers attended an elite law school. I attended the University of Illinois College of Law which at the time was ranked in the top 25 of over 200 law schools nationwide. I never run into any fellow alumni practicing family law. Many of the best attorneys I know attended law schools with poor rankings. Maybe they got a scholarship? Maybe they had a bad day when they took the LSAT? It doesn’t matter because it truly doesn’t matter if your Chicago divorce lawyer is an academic genius.
The length of practice can be a factor in choosing a Chicago divorce lawyer. After about ten years or so, every divorce lawyer in Chicago says, “I’ve been practicing law for X years so I know…” If the lawyer has truly been practicing divorce law primarily, that is a great feature. If the lawyer has been practicing other kids of law during their career, then many of those years will provide no advantage to the lawyer.
Time practicing law confers a familiarity with the law but more importantly a familiarity with the courts themselves: the procedures, the judges, the opposing counsels. This is where the added value occurs.
6. The Intake.
Before hiring any divorce lawyer, you should personally meet with the lawyer if possible.
Divorces take anywhere from 2 months to 2 years or longer. You are forging a relationship with your divorce lawyer in Chicago Illinois as you dissolve your relationship with your spouse. The intake is the first date.
Does the Chicago divorce lawyer even allow you to meet with him or her or do you have to meet first with an associate or a paralegal to gather information? It’s perfectly alright for a lower level employee to take information like your address and financial issues but you should be meeting the lawyer who will be helping you directly. In a bigger law firm that lawyer may be the associate. An associate may have the time and energy to help you in a way the name partner of the firm never could. Either way, you need to like and trust the lawyer who’ll be assigned to your case.
How does the Chicago divorce lawyer at the intake meeting present themselves in person? Do they inspire confidence? Do they seem professional? The lawyer will be making the same impression later on the judge and opposing counsel. The lawyer is presenting your case and he or she is part of the presentation.
How does the lawyer’s office look? Is the office old? Is the office a mess? Or is the office a reflection of the lawyer’s professionalism: clean, crisp and modern?
Meet your lawyer! You deserve to feel confident in your lawyer as you embark upon the frightening journey that is divorce.
Of course, this advice is only about how to choose your Chicago divorce lawyer. Your ongoing relationship with your divorce lawyer will also be difficult. He or she will bombard you with documents memorializing everything. I strongly recommend scheduling regular meetings with your lawyer to discuss your case. An in-person meeting will remove all ambiguity and keep you and your divorce lawyer on the same page during every chapter of your divorce.
Divorce is the dreaded D-word, isn’t it? Few go into a marriage planning on divorce. Most are sincere when they promise to death do they part. However, some circumstances happen to where divorce seems like it’s the most logical option.
Answering the question as to whether or not going through a divorce is worth is not easy. It’s all situational. Some marriages are abusive and divorce should happen. Other divorces are due to fixable issues such as poor financial planning or miscommunication, which may be able to be fixed through online counseling and a slow repair of the relationship.
However, even when divorce feels like it’s worth it, there are going to be consequences to the entire family. Here are just a few of them.
If both parents are working, this means that the parents may have to live off a single person income for a while. This drastic change in income can be a bit of a shock, especially if you have attorney’s fees, court fees, and all the other costs that come with a divorce. Some divorces are settled amicably, but the messier a divorce, the more financial impact it has. This stresses out both parents and the kid as well.
When a divorce happens, everyone starts becoming tribalistic. Friends of one parent will start hating the other. Family feuds happen. Even the child may feel like they must pick a parent, as they probably have to hear their mother complaining about their father, or vice versa. If there are multiple children, you may have a case where one child picks mom and the other picks dad.
There are legitimate reasons to pick one parent over the other, but often, there are not. Sometimes, one party is entirely at fault, but oftentimes, both have some blame in it. However, many people do think they are the hero in their own story and don’t own up to their mistakes too.
The Children Blame Themselves
Children do not understand why their parents get a divorce. They believed that their parents would be together forever, and seeing them separate is a punch in the face from reality itself. Often, the children will think they were at fault. They may think about every time they made their parents mad, or caused their parents to argue, and wonder if that’s the reason.
As parents, you must stress to your child that divorce is never their fault. Also, don’t ever try to blame the other parent unless there is an abusive situation going on. Instead, try to explain the divorce in a rational way that a child can understand.
Changing in Behavior
After divorce, the entire family may change in behavior. The children could be more aloof than they were beforehand. The parents may go through a phase where they are casually dating, and may bring home people your kid won’t accept. The parents themselves may act differently towards the child. Rarely does the status quo happen with divorce.
Consider it Carefully!
Again, we are not saying divorce is inherently a bad thing. Sometimes, relationships need to end, whether it be because of abuse, irreconcilable differences, or other reasons. If you feel like you’re only together just for the sake of the kids, the marriage may not be ideal. However, some parents are quick to jump the gun and divorce when their marriage is salvageable. Couple’s therapy can help repair the spark. Setting up a budget can prevent financial difficulties. Counseling can help with miscommunications. Always think before you divorce, as the consequences are immense and it takes a long time for life to return to normal.
Accepting the fact that you are getting divorced is really traumatic. After mentally preparing yourself for the divorce, the next important thing is to find an attorney. Making an appointment with a lawyer is generally a very emotional experience for many. Being in a relationship, you probably never wondered about going to an attorney’s office for ending up your relationship.
It is very important to consult a good lawyer, but how do you figure out who is a good lawyer? Here are a few important and precise questions that you can ask in order to choose the right and knowledgeable attorney for your case. Remember that the lawyer you pick will get linked with you and your relationship with your kids and your properties. So, make sure you choose the right one.
#1 Ask how much experience does the lawyer have in the divorce law?
There are many lawyers who practice more than one law. It is not a bad thing, but we advise finding a lawyer that specialises in matrimonial laws is wise. For instance, if you have a problem in your arm, then you would better prefer going to orthopaedist than general physician. Moreover, ask how much experience does he have in this field because you don’t want someone who is just starting out.
#2 Ask how much will it cost?
Ask your attorney to give you a rough quote on fees and a list of services included. The experienced lawyer will be able to offer detailed information about the procedure and the cost of each step. Most lawyers charge on an hourly basis, so don’t be afraid to ask about their billing structure. If you are looking for affordable divorce lawyers, then you may seek through By Discount Codes where you can find plenty of deals for legal services.
#3 Ask if he will work on your case personally or not?
Many lawyers have paralegals hired who are responsible for carrying out every day working on your file. The good thing about having an associate or paralegal work on your file is they charge significantly lower price than the attorney. Often lawyers only touch your file during the process.
#4 Ask if they prefer to proceed legally or attempt to settle?
Every lawyer tackles the case in his/her own way. Some lawyers love to fight in the court and want to win, while others believe in settling the case amicably. Going to the court is not always the best option. A lawyer who is honest and fair will first try to amicably resolve your case, and suggest to fight in the court only if there is no choice.
#5 Ask your lawyer to give you a plan for handling your case
Talk to your attorney to provide you with the overall strategy for handling your case. This will ensure that your lawyer is active and not just reactive, which will save your money and time in the long time. The lawyer may change strategy if required, but the overall objectives should not change.
Thus, when you consult any lawyer, it is your chance to get clarification of your questions. If your lawyer says that you don’t understand, ask him/her to explain you again.
Divorce, legal separation, annulment – such terrible words. It usually means that there were disappointments, misery, and extended legalities involved. Although facts and figures provide that marriages ending in divorce is declining, it is still very common, and nobody is ever really prepared for it. No one ever really foresees their marriage crumbling down while they exchange their vows of love in front of God and of all the people. Even though a handful of lawyers are specializing in divorce – you can easily google a divorce lawyer in your state, for example you can type in a family law attorney in Charlotte, NC and then names of qualified lawyers will pop up – still, no couple would even think that they will ever need a divorce lawyer and go through a messy divorce in the future.
Divorce happen due to disastrous affairs. Furthermore, the reasons that marriages come up short and end in separation are not really different with each couple; rather, they are ordinary and happen very much of the time.
Listed are the most well-known reasons that lead to divorce.
Successfully solving problems is indeed a product of a good and effective communication. And in a relationship, communication encompasses and can just talk about everything and anything under the sun; sex, cash, birth control, et cetera.
Each and every marriage seems to have its highs and lows; it is not just love and respect that can help a couple get through tough times. It is also the willingness to sit down, simply talk about what does and does not work, and settle down on a decision to start moving forward. If couples are completely comfortable talking with their partners and if they always had this history of getting past major problems and obstacles and not really getting caught up in thinking and looking back – then there is a pretty good chance that they are in for a perfectly happy, healthy, and long-term relationship.
Nobody is ever hoping and praying to start a fight. Nobody is dreaming about arguing. But what married couples may not always see as they took a look in their foreseeable future is how easily money could come between the marriage.
For a marriage to be happy and blissful, financial goal of each of the spouse be considered and making sure that both couples are on the same page when it comes to spending money. If the couple does not seem to see eye to eye on how they should handle their finances, sooner or later they will be starting to seek legal advices from a divorce attorney.
Lack of Consideration
If one spouse shows a distinct lack of concern about the other’s particular needs or wishes, a number of problems may very well inevitably arise. The unwillingness to share responsibilities at home or not helping to take care of the children, irresponsible spending of money and deeply offensive habits are all examples of disregard.
Another example for lack of consideration is to allow family members to meddle in a marriage. A spouse’s family member may try and influence anything from home refurbishing to what they think the proper way of rearing a child. This may cause resentment to the offended spouse. If the marriage then has been irretrievably broken due to long standing resentment or tension, then it is best advised to seek help from a divorce attorney who will help understand the choices that a spouse have.
Change of Priorities
While it is true that priorities change over time, nothing should come first before the family. When a spouse starts to prioritize his or her work, catching up with friends, hobbies or anything else that can infer from the concern of the family or activities, it can burden the other spouse which may later cause sadness and resentment.
There are a lot of forms of addiction. It can be substance abuse such as alcohol, illegal substance, and even those prescription medicines. One could also be addicted with online pornography, online games and gambling. The fixation with social media can also result to an addict-like behavior. These types of addictions have the ability to destroy a marriage. An addict may go to rehab and attend support groups, but more often than not, the married couple will have a struggle to survive the pain that was caused by his or her partner being an addict.
Cheating, adultery, concubinage are the topmost reasons why married couples go through a divorce. More often than not, romantic and sexual unhappiness tends to lead a spouse to stray. But a partner or spouse may still continue to seek sexual satisfaction outside of the relationship for a lot of reasons. For example, a couple may have sex on a regular basis, but if a partner feels rejected or ignored, they may look for the connection that they are seeking for form another person. On the other hand, the sex may fine, but the relationship is dull, boring and excessively predictable. In this case, the husband or the wife may tend to enter an extramarital affair because they want to seek the excitement that it brings.
Divorce is something that nobody would like to ever be involved with, yet tragically, there are still a lot of couple going through this. While feelings, hurt and bitterness, tend to magnify during this critical time, it is vital to be level headed in making decisions as this will greatly affect the future.
Child custody, division of real and personal properties, spousal support – these are just to name a few of the burdens that the couple faces when facing divorce. Therefore, it is imperative to contact a divorce lawyer who will enable to guide all throughout the divorce process and protect the spouse’s interest during this emotional turmoil. It is best to seek a divorce lawyer that one can easily contact and personally see and talk to make thing easier. Getting a lawyer in the same state where one seeking the divorce resides is recommended. Take for instance if you live in North Carolina, a family law attorney in Charlotte, NC is the best option for you to seek guidance for during the entire process of the divorce.
Did you know there are over 800,000 divorces in the United States every year?
It’s no wonder that with so many people getting divorced they are looking for ways to cope and help it from getting too messy.
Divorce is commonly known to be messy with several things like child custody taking center stage.
Keep reading to learn how to file for divorce safely and smoothly.
4 Legal Tips on How to File for Divorce without It Getting Messy
Keep in mind that every state has its own legalities when it comes to divorce. The most ideal way to get a divorce is if both parties agree that this is the best option in their situation and go to the courthouse and fill out the paperwork, sign, and done. Some couples end up making the decision to go through with a legal separation instead of a divorce because they feel its best.
Most cases aren’t this simple but even if you’re not happy with the decision your divorce can still go smooth. If there are kids involved you want to make sure that they suffer as little as possible during the entire process.
1. Uncontested Divorce
This is the smoothest way to go through a divorce. It’s when both parties reach an agreement without having to go to court. Yes, there can still be arguments in the beginning but if the couple is able to get past their difference and reach an agreement this is the smoothest route because it will be the quickest and least expensive.
Uncontested divorces don’t go through a long drawn out process of trials making it quicker for both parties to move on faster.
2. Prepare Finances Ahead of Time
When you know you’re going to file for divorce start preparing all finances ahead of time. If you have a joint account you might want to close it and open two separate accounts. Same goes for any savings accounts.
You can begin your research for the process to change your will to get that prepared ahead of time. Taking care of finances will make for a smoother divorce.
3. File Online
If your state and county allow you to file online this might be the best option for you. It’s less expensive and less emotional than going into a courthouse to sign paperwork. This option is best if you’re both in agreement to the divorce.
Thanks to technology this is an option nowadays.
4. Meet with a Lawyer
Before filing for a divorce contact a lawyer especially if your divorce is complex and you have children involved. A lawyer has the expertise and knowledge to guide you through the process and make sure everything is done legally. Family law is complex and sometimes laws change annually which is why contacting a lawyer is best in family cases where a couple can’t come to an agreement.
Keep Your Head Up
During difficult times like a divorce, it can be difficult to make it through each day. With all the emotional baggage that divorce brings to the table, it can be overwhelming, to say the least. When learning how to file for divorce in your state of residency there are ways to go through the process as smooth as possible.
If you’re looking for a family law attorney make sure to check out our listings to find the perfect one for you.
In America, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. In other words, only half of all marriages make it the distance.
Depending on the situation with you and your spouse, a divorce can be an incredibly long and painful event. However, amicable and peaceful divorces are not unheard of.
Regardless of the terms and conditions of your divorce, there are some critical things you must do immediately after filing for it.
If you find yourself filing for divorce, we highly recommend you take these seven steps.
1. Hire a Competent Divorce Attorney
Due to the vast complexities of laws surrounding divorce, the most important thing you can do while filing for divorce is to hire a competent attorney.
In some scenarios, the separation process is so amicable and smooth that a divorce attorney isn’t necessary. However, that can quickly change as soon as disagreements arise over assets, custody, etc.
Having a divorce attorney from the beginning is a good idea to ensure everything works out as smoothly as possible for both sides.
Learn more about types of divorces and what a divorce attorney can do for you before moving any further in the process.
2. Change Your Will
As soon as you know you are filing for divorce, it’s a good idea to start making changes to your will.
While it may sound bleak, accidents happen all the time. Depending on the conditions of your divorce, you may not want your ex-spouse to have any access or privileges to assets in your will in the event of your death.
A divorce doesn’t automatical amend your will to exclude your ex-spouse.
3. Understand Your Financial Situation and Assets
Filing for divorce comes with a lot of changes. One of the most tangible changes is to your financial situation.
You need to immediately start figuring out what your finances will look like once you are separated. This includes mortgage/rent, car payments, and what assets each person is taking.
Additionally, if you own any businesses, you must take steps to protect it during the divorce.
4. Close All Joint Accounts
While redefining your financial position, ensure you and your spouse begin to close all joint accounts. These include checkings, savings, credit cards, stocks and bond, IRA accounts, etc.
This can require especially difficult maneuvering, especially when dealing with a resistant or confrontational spouse.
5. Decide Your Living Situation
Before or immediately after filing for divorce, you need to start figuring out your living situation.
Who’s going to keep the current home/apartment? Can you afford to live by yourself or do you need to find a roommate or move in with friends or family?
It’s pertinent for your sanity and well-being that this is a priority.
6. Don’t Lose Your Integrity
Perhaps one of the most difficult challenges when dealing with a messy and inflammatory divorce is keeping your cool.
After filing for divorce and throughout the entire process, you must maintain your integrity. Be the better person, even if they are being the exact opposite.
Remember, everything you do can be brought up and used against you. That includes any wild nights, DUIs, or any other poor decisions.
7. Discuss Custody Options
One thing to consider while filing for divorce is what will happen to the kids.
Psychologically speaking, divorce can have severely negative effects on children. How you and your spouse handle divorce and custody matters can make all the difference.
Think of the children first. Don’t speak poorly about your spouse or try to persuade them to take sides.
However, you and your spouse must figure out schedules and custody.
Filing for Divorce Can Be the Best Thing for Your Family
As we discussed, filing for divorce can be a very painful and even traumatic experience.
However, it really can be the best thing for your family. There’s a reason people get divorced. If they’re not happy together now, they will probably never be.
Just remember to handle it as professionally and gracefully as possible, especially if children are involved.