If research is anything to go by, four to five out of ten couples in their first marriage end up in divorce or separation somewhere down the line. Second marriages are not spared by the D-word problem either, and the numbers are actually higher. Statistics aside, divorce is the last thing any married person would want to envision, especially for couples in the merge or infatuation stage.
But marriage is a giant institution, and love is among the most complex topics on the planet. Divorce can happen any time regardless of how long the partners have been married, how many kids they have together, or how well they tolerate each other.
The harsh reality is that it can be painful, overwhelming, and tormenting to one or both partners depending on the circumstances. This is not to mention the myriad of complexities involved, especially when it comes to parenting responsibilities, assets, co-owned businesses, and everything in between. All the same, sometimes parting ways is the best solution to a marriage that is not working.
With all this in mind, here are some tips you might find helpful in handling divorce the right way.
How To Handle Divorce The Right Way
1. Think And Think Again About What You Really Want
Since marriage is a thing between two individuals, a divorce will be initiated by either you or your partner. The circumstances may vary depending on who between the two of you want out of the relationship. You could get served with divorce papers out of the blues or do the same to your partner. In many cases, the couple sits down and makes an amicable decision to split up for the best of both parties.
If you’re the one initiating the process, you might want to step back and think deeply about what you really want and whether a divorce will be right for you. Before making a decision, you will want to consider various factors, including your economic capability to survive alone and the emotional impact a divorce might have in your life. Do you have kids with your partner, or perhaps some shared financial investments, assets, and businesses? What will happen to all this if you split up? Most importantly, is that what you really want? Will you be able to cope without the person you’ve considered your better half for that long?
2. Seek Legal Guidance Right Away
When on the verge of separation with your soul mate, bouts of confusion and overwhelm are pretty common. Furthermore, divorce cases are often surrounded by a lot of legal complexities that you may not handle or navigate on your own. This is all the more reason to get legal counsel from a decorated divorce attorney as soon as you can, preferably before making any major decision. Whether you’ve just been served with divorce papers, or you are dealing with domestic violence issues and want out, the folks at www.charlesullman.com recommend speaking to an experienced family law attorney. They can interpret your legal options and help you kick start the divorce process if necessary. If your partner initiated the divorce, your attorney will also walk with you and defend your rights throughout the process.
3. Consider The Various Solutions Available
Once you are certain that divorce is the way forward and you get a good lawyer, ask them about the various options available. Again, the applicable solution will be circumstantial, but the following are worth learning about:
- Mediation: If you and your partner want to amicably end the marriage, mediation can be the best route to take. It involves a neutral facilitator and the former love birds working in unison to settle issues outside the court. It is often cheaper, and the partners can end their marriage without unnecessary public attention. Mediation also helps keep the stress associated with divorce to a minimum. If kids are involved, mediation can help ensure peaceful (oftentimes enjoyable) co-parenting after divorce.
- Divorce Court: Oftentimes, divorce is surrounded by plenty of complexities. Issues like child custody property division can cause a lot of tension to a couple, to the point that they won’t even see each other eye-to-eye. It is also not unusual for one of the partners to show reluctance in engaging with the process. In such instances, the process might have to be carried out in the halls of justice to ensure a fair agreement or decision to each party.
4. Get Plenty Of Emotional Support
Whether you are on the serving or the receiving end, divorce is often a double-edged sword that cuts both ways. Separation and divorce can be stressful, mentally, and emotionally intense, especially if certain disputes arise in the middle of the process. This is why it pays to have a support system of individuals you can lean on for comfort and encouragement. These could include your close friends, relatives, neighbors, and even total strangers who have been in similar situations to yours. Unless you’re superhuman, every bit of emotional support will go a long way in strengthening you as you seek to move on and get back to your life.
From infidelity to distance, drug abuse, violence, and recurrent miscommunication, divorce can be triggered by multiple things. Despite the one who initiates separation, sometimes it’s the best thing for both partners in the relationship. Nonetheless, it can be painful, frustrating, depressing, and possibly traumatic. Thankfully, the above few tips can help you handle divorce the right way so you can heal and move forward with your life faster.